Yo Momma!

There was a show on MTV a few years ago called Yo Momma. It was hosted by an annoying little man by the name of Wilmer Valderrama. 

I call him an annoying little man because...Well, because he dissed Mandy Moore. Who disses Mandy Moore? COME ON MAN?!!


I mean you hate on Mandy Moore, and then on top of it, you tell Howard Stern the king of FILTH about your love encounter with Mandy Moore. The cute girl that falls in love, but abruptly dies from an illness in the classic chick flick A WALK TO REMEMBER?! 

Wilmer? WTF! 


Completely off topic...


Now back to the topic. Wilmer Valderrama hosted Yo Momma, which was a pretty popular MTV show. The basis of the show was to get a group of people to battle one another with jokes. Think of it as the poor man's debate team. 


In real debates you have McCain vs Obama debating taxes and gun rights. 

In poor man debates you discuss who has better rims, who's girlfriend is..well a hussie, and the ultimate diss of all.....WHO's MOMMA IS UGLIER! WHOoooooooooooaaaa!!!!!!!! NO HE DIDN"T TALK ABOUT MY MOMMA?!

Now, this all seems very childish, but I must admit I'm pretty childish at times. And I got enjoyment out of this show primarily because I grew up going to a predominately black inner city elementary school. I don't know what you were doing at your elementary school. But, at my elementary school you had to be good at at least one of four things as a boy. 


1.) Can you play basketball? I mean if you're black... You better know how to at least dribble. 
2.) Can you get a girl to check the yes box when you ask her to be your girlfriend? Pimping ain't EZ!
3.) Can you battle another kid in YO MOMMA jokes?
4.) Can you beat another kid up in the bathroom during bathroom break without the teacher catching you?


Look at the list, which ones were you good at in elementary school?


I remember as a kid going home and practicing my YO MOMMA jokes. Literally, I practiced telling YO MOMMA jokes... Looking at the mirror with a sheet of paper, with written jokes, imagining what the other kid would say. And returning fire with a better YO MOMMA line!


Looking back on this is pretty damn comical. Hell, I can still tell a few jokes. You wanna hear?

-Yo Momma so fat, when she went to the kitchen she slipped on the floor broke her leg and gravy poured out. 
-Yo Momma is so skinny, she can hang-glide on a Dorrito Chip. 
-Yo Momma so stupid, she tried putting M&M's in alphabetical order. 
-Yo Momma faster than Nascar, heard she burned four rubbers last night...


Now seriously...You can laugh at some of those jokes, but now I'm 28 years old. And as I reflect, I'm wondering how in the heck I memorized those jokes in the third grade. Which brings me to the following questions. 


I know, I know... I ASK ALOT OF QUESTIONS... But think about these really quick.


Of the following two holidays, which do you celebrate with greater happiness? Which one do you spend more money on? And if you live away from your hometown, which holiday do you actually go back home to celebrate? Only One ANSWER CHOICE IS ACCEPTABLE!


a) Father's Day
b)Mother's Day 





When I was in elementary school, a teacher overheard me battling a fellow peer in YO MOMMA barbs. YO MOMMA FAT! YO MOMMA UGLY! YO MOMMA STUPID! The teacher took us both aside, and told us both to shut up and stand on the wall. 


Then she walked to another teacher and her statement was, "Ain't it a shame, they ain't got nothing to say about they DADDY!" 


Why? 


Because in my community, you didn't hurt a kid's pride by talking about his father. You hurt his pride by talking about the one parent he knew...His momma!


After all the jokes fade away. And you grow up and reflect on it, I think its pretty damn sad that this has become so many kids reality. We laugh and joke about yo momma this, and may even buy a few t-shirts that say yo momma. 


But take a few moments and really think about the reality of this situation. Its an epidemic. More and more young people are growing up without a male remodel in their lives. Its the new family dynamic. Its the new norm. 


Imagine this situation. A young man with alot of potential decides to make the wrong decision. Now unfortunately, he's standing before the judge for sentencing. The judge says, "Son...I'm giving you probation and community service. I want to say that you seem to have alot of potential. But you need to grow up...and become a MAN." 


Well judge, those are pretty good words, and sound advice... 


Except for the fact that this guy ain't got a clue how to be a man, because he's never known a man. 


Think about it...


You'll quickly realize that Yo momma jokes suddenly ain't so damn funny anymore.